You Put Your Right Foot In...

Dear Little Sister,
Sorry I didn't write you anything last week. I figured you were busy on the DELTA!!! so you might not have had time, and besides that, I knew my next post would be my 50th (woot woot!), and I could either make an awesome one and get it over with or I could celebrate by taking the day off. Having free time on a Sunday was really, really nice, so I think I made the right decision.
     But anyway! I had some cool thoughts last week anyway, sitting in Church, which is where I normally come up with your letters. I started thinking about Batman, Neal A. Maxwell, and the Hokey Pokey. Yes, they are related.
     Church leaders often talk about how the Church and the world used to be so similar, holding the same values and fostering the same goals. But as time progresses, the world moves ever farther away from Gospel teachings. Unfortunately, the same can also be said about Church members. I believe it was President Hinckley who commented that members of the Church are just a few steps behind the world—not as bad as the world is now, but what the world is now is where members will be in just a few short years. That's beyond accurate, but it's something that nobody likes to admit. They call it "progress," but they forget that God's doctrines will always be the same, and even when He makes adjustments, they're designed to make us more faithful, not less. While not politically correct, God's teachings about gender identity, for instance, are basic, eternal truths, listed in The Family: A Proclamation to the World and taught for over a century before that. Yet Konrie and I know a returned missionary who thinks that God sends people to earth with the wrong gender, which goes completely against sound doctrine.

     Many members of the Church justify ignoring the prophets because "it was a suggestion, not a commandment," or "the prophet is imperfect, so I don't have to do exactly what he says," or my favorite, "I prayed and decided that commandment didn't apply to me." First of all, I'd take the suggestion of a prophet over the wisdom of the world any day. Second, even prophets are imperfect mortals, but "What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common" (Acts 10:15). God knew these men were imperfect when He called them, but they're still His mouthpieces. And according to President Benson's Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet, a prophet can speak on anything at anytime; he's the prophet for the entire world, not just the Church. And thirdly, that's not how it works! When the Lord commands, do it. People would do well to spend less time making themselves exceptions and more time accepting the will of the Lord. I have a deep testimony that He is much smarter than I am.
     So why does this happen? I know there are many reasons and everyone is a little different, but it usually boils down to the same problem: people want to be in the world and as much of the world as they can get away with. And the more they push, the stretchier the t-shirt gets. Some may call sticking to principle old-fashioned, but God is pretty old-fashioned, and He seems to be doing okay.
     So what does this have to do with Batman, Neal A. Maxwell, and the Hokey Pokey?
     Elder Neal A. Maxwell, one of my favorite human beings, once said that we need to "establish our residence in Zion and give up the summer cottage in Babylon." We can't play for God's team and the devil's, even if it's just for a quarter. If we want to be on the Lord's side, we have to be there completely. God accepts and saves imperfect people, but He will not receive those who only halfheartedly approach Him. There's a difference between being imperfect and not caring about it. If you treat the world like an on and off relationship, putting your right foot in then taking your right foot out, you'll find yourself turned all around without direction. You can't rise up while the world holds you down.

     That brings us to Batman. In The Dark Knight Rises, Bruce Wayne finds himself at the bottom of this giant prison hole that he is fully allowed to escape from if he's physically able. He tries several times to climb out, but he wears a safety rope just in case. At the same crucial jumping point, he misses. Every time. The rope breaks his fall (and his back), but he recovers and tries again. And again. And again. Finally, he realizes that while the rope grants him a sense of security, it's really just holding him back, stifling his jump. He climbs again, this time without the rope, and SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER this time he makes it. He climbs out of the prison and somehow makes it back to Gotham (seriously though, how on earth did he make it back to Gotham?).

     You can't convince the world to come back to the Gospel. It's a solid mass drifting into space, and I'm sorry, George Bailey, but you can't lasso the moon! Not this time. You can save the people on it, but not by joining them. In the beautiful painting of Christ on the rock, He reaches out His hand to the child. He doesn't crawl into the water and push up. He lifts. He reaches. He invites.
     As a missionary, your purpose was to "invite others to come unto Christ." That means you need to be standing next to Him—with both feet, not one foot in and one foot out. Like Batman's rope, the world may give a false sense of social security, but only Christ saves.

     Take a moment to appreciate Chris Evans's biceps.

     .......

     Take your time...

     .......

     It's okay.
     As Captain America, he tries to stop this helicopter from taking off, which almost kills him, but he does it. And he does it without leaving the ground. He didn't try to jump into the helicopter and convince Bucky to land. He stayed on a solid foundation and refused to budge, physically and morally. As the movie teaches, "When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth and tell the whole world, 'No, YOU move.'"
     This life isn't about making the rounds and checking off a bucket list. It's about proving to God that we 1) will do whatever it takes to follow Him and 2) absolutely need His help to do it. So when the world stifles your jump, builds you a summer cottage, or tries to turn you all around, remember that you can only serve one master, and the only true Master is Jesus Christ.

"From time to time, I hear people speculate on the question, 'When does the prophet speak as a prophet, and when does he speak otherwise?' This query seems curious to me, as if one were presumptuous enough to sit in judgment on a prophet. In my close associations with President Kimball, spanning two decades and the spectrum from suffering to sublimity, I have never asked that question. The only question I have asked has been, 'How can I be more like him?'"

President Russell M. Nelson, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (2015 - present)






Konrie's Korner:
I used to think that I was sooo extremely obedient, but with help I have come to recognize that I have lots of room to improve. I, too, would fall into the trap thinking some of the older revelations received by prophets or apostles wouldn't apply to me. Revelations such as how mothers are needed in the home to raise their families and whenever possible should not work. I have always wanted to be a mother. We have been so blessed to have a mother that stayed home to take care of us throughout our lives. But as I grew up, I began to feel like I needed to put my Physics major to good use and get a well-paid engineering job. I still wanted to be a mother, but I let the world tell me that I needed to be an intellectual woman first. Motherhood is a divine calling. How did I forget how much it meant to me as a kid to have my mom be a home-maker? Why did I trick myself into thinking it wouldn't matter either way? It DOES matter; it makes a huge difference. I have since made motherhood the highest priority and working an absolute last resort (beneath living off of pure rice). No matter how badly I want to do something, I have realized that I would rather follow the Lord's command first. I am so grateful for prophets that help us to see with an eternal perspective and help us know how to find true happiness.

Yes, No, and How Much?

Dear Little Sister,
How are you?

     That's a pretty simple question, but I want you to think about it. Once you've come up with your answer, I want you to think about why. How do you know if you're doing well or doing poorly? How can you tell if it's a great day or a bad day? Typically, our perception of our current situation is all about comparing the here and now to something else, either how we've been in the past or where we hope to be in the future. If you were doing poorly yesterday and you're better now than you were then, then you might say you're fine. If you were good and now you're better, you may be great. If you were great and now you're worse, you may be okay. It all depends on where you are relative to where you want to be.
     We know from Lehi's teachings in 2 Nephi chapter 2 that this kind of comparison, or "opposition," is not bad. In fact, it's necessary. There would be no hot without cold, tall without short, smart without not so smart, front without back, and, ultimately, good without evil. Comparison is how we identify what's in front of us.

     If you've ever shopped for bananas, you know why this is so important. They have to be just the right amount of yellow if you want to eat them right away, with just enough green if you want them to last awhile. But how do you know how much "just enough" is? By comparison. The slightly green ones have to be greener than the yellow ones and yellower than the green ones. And then you compare them to past experience and what your mom told you about them, remembering if the last ones were too green and how those looked so you don't make the same mistake twice.
     Comparisons rule our everyday lives. Most have become so ingrained that we don't think about them, but throughout the day, we're hungry because there's more room in our stomachs than when we were full, we're tired because we have less energy than just a few minutes ago, and we have to use that information to decide, how hungry do you have to be before you decide to eat? How tired are you before you decide, "Now's the time to go to bed"? Comparison. It's all comparison.
     Because of all that habit, it's no wonder we translate the need for comparisons into less mundane, more meaningful areas of our lives. In the gospel, we're taught the difference between right and wrong, virtue and vice, good and evil. But where do they switch? We always want to know where the line is, how close we can get or how far away we need to keep ourselves. We're always concerned about choosing the harder right, picking the lesser of two evils, identifying what's good, what's better, and what's best. That can be helpful in some ways, but it can ruin us spiritually if we become too focused on it in others.

     The first example of where not to compare is in decisions between good and evil. Once we know that something is on the right, we can sort between good, better, and best, but let's just focus on whether something is right or wrong. As children and teenagers, don't we all ask, "Exactly how bad is it?" We want to know which sin is bigger, stealing something or hitting someone, swearing or saying mean things, lying or spilling someone else's secret? Believe it or not, it doesn't matter. To God, it doesn't make much difference which sins we commit--only that once we sin, we've become unclean. All we need to know is, "Is it good or bad? Does it bring me closer to or farther away from God?" It doesn't matter how much. Any and all sin will lead you away from our Heavenly Father. A lot of people ask, as if to taunt God, "Will [insert sin] really keep me from the Celestial Kingdom?" Maybe not, but your attitude certainly will. Such people have become so prideful that they truly believe they're smarter than God, more in tune with the Spirit than the prophets. I don't know how bad every sin is, and that's not for me to decide. But once I call good evil and evil good, imagining I know better than my Maker, I'm in trouble. As my best friend once told me, "I've decided that in all matters, I'm going to keep myself as far from the line as possible. Because if I'm nowhere near the line, there's no way I can cross it."
     The next example is in comparing ourselves to others. This can very easily happen when we think about the last point: how bad are their sin in contrast with mine? Again, if that's our attitude, we're in trouble. It certainly is mine more often than naught, and that's one of my many battles. We justify sin because "at least we're not as bad as so and so," and we somehow see ourselves as doing so much better than so many other people. It's not a competition. The War in Heaven was fought over agency, over whether we would follow God or Satan. So why is the War on Earth all about beating each other, so much so that we've forgotten who the real enemy is? We're fighting a war against sin, and the only comparison that will help us is whether we're stronger now than we were yesterday. Are we moving forward? That's the right direction, no matter the speed. We may go faster or slower than we have at other times, but as long as we're moving in the right direction, we'll be fine.

     In that same vein, we too often determine whether or not somebody's needs comfort by comparing their suffering with ours. "Do they need it as badly as I do? Because if they don't, I'll save my comfort for myself." That's not the way of the Lord. When Christ was on the cross, He comforted the thieves, actual criminals who had not suffered nearly as bad as He had. Christ also prayed for the soldiers who crucified Him, that their suffering might also be less than His. He finally reached out to His beloved apostle, making sure that His mother would be taken care of after His death. We see as natural men and women, recognizing that these people suffered little compared to the Savior, but Christ never considered that His suffering might disqualify Him from feeling empathy for others. So instead of wondering whose suffering is worse, why don't we ask, "Are they suffering?" and "How can I help?" Instead of comparing our sins, why don't we say, "Who among us is imperfect and in need of the Savior's redeeming grace?" We'll soon find--through our comparison--that we're a lot more similar to our brothers and sisters in that regard than we may have thought.
     Finally, I realized recently another way in which I often compare is with my strengths to those of others. Whenever people ask which of our Christlike attributes are strongest, or which ones others likely notice in us, I immediately think of obedience and knowledge. But I'm afraid to speak up, because I don't want people to think I look down on them or that I consider myself superior. I thought my desire not to hurt their feelings was motivated by humility, but it occurred to me that such thoughts are actually manifestations of pride. The reason I felt that others might feel bad for not having the same strengths is because somewhere deep down, I'd assumed that my strengths were the strengthiest of all strengths. I'd assumed that while all attributes of Christ are important, the best ones to develop are the ones that I've most nurtured.
     Which Christlike attribute is best? Which is most important? If I wanted to defend myself, I would point out that obedience is the first law of Heaven and that man cannot be saved in ignorance. But what about, "If ye have not charity, ye are nothing"? What about, "Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion" and "But without faith it is impossible to please Him"? Does that mean that charity, humility, and faith are the best attributes? In short, yes. And yes to obedience and knowledge. And yes to virtue, to hope, and to patience. Yes to everything that leads you closer to God, that makes you more like the Savior.
     The attribute of Christ most worth your time is whichever one is keeping you furthest from Him.
     We're commanded to judge, but not to judge unrighteous judgement. Judge between choices that are good and evil, influences that build you up or tear you down, bananas that are green or yellow. But don't compare yourself to people, and don't convince yourself that God loves them any less than He loves you, no matter how much more consistently righteous your choices are. Pride is the vice that encourages that kind of comparison.
     At the same time, please don't think, "Well, if we're all sinners anyway and all sin leads us away from God, then why not commit the bigger ones?" Don't confuse God's trust in you for His love. His love will always be there, but your goodness and your strength will show Him that He can rely on you to be an instrument in His hands, to comfort those that are suffering and to reach out to those who are falling behind.
     I don't know how many drops of blood were shed for me in Gethsemane, and maybe it will take less Atonement to heal my heart than it will for others, but that's none of my concern. I'm trying really hard not to think about that. Instead, I'm trying to remember that until I've taken care of my own sins, I can't judge anyone else for theirs. I have plenty of battles ahead of me without being distracted by who's winning an imaginary race.

"At its core, pride is a sin of comparison, for though it usually begins with 'Look how wonderful I am and what great things I have done,' it always seems to end with 'Therefore, I am better than you.'"

~ President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (2008 - )





Konrie's Korner:

Isn't my husband wonderful?! I love so many of the points he made this week! Comparing myself to others is something I have struggled with for a long time. Honestly, even comparing myself to myself can sometimes be destructive. Lately, I have developed a new method of just giving it my all each moment and striving to be sensitive to the Spirit as close to always as I can that day. That method has helped me to make sure I am drawing nearer to our Heavenly Father, without being overly hard on myself for days or moments when I am too weak to do much more than have good intentions of heart. It is hard to do evil when your heart is full of good.