Oh my gosh, of all the things that people say that drive me insane, this takes the cake, easily. I hate the word "like" when used as a filler. It's so, like, irritating. Seriously. That doesn't mean that I don't use it occasionally, and it's not like words like "um" and "eh" are less criminal, but some people just can't stop using the filler "like."
I have a good friend named Riley—my best friend back when I was a tween. I used to hang out at his house all the time, which means that I had a lot of interaction with his little brother, Logan. Back then, Logan was the "annoying little brother," so I didn't pay much attention to him, but he said something one time that I haven't forgotten in seven years (and I'm sure he heard it somewhere else, but I attribute it to him because he's the only person I've ever heard say it): "you know, if people replaced the word 'like' with 'monkey,' they'd realize how ridiculous it sounds."
I love that! Let's see what happens if we apply it to the first sentence of this post: So, monkey, you know how, monkey, some people, monkey, say, monkey, "Monkey," monkey, every other, monkey, word, monkey, all the time?
If possible, that sentence actually became even more annoying.
And it's not even that the word itself is so bad—it's just distracting. Have you ever listened to somebody and counted how many times they say "like" or "um"? Or do you know someone who uses either or any other filler word consistently? If the answer was "yes," then that proves it! It drew enough attention to itself that you noticed; it pulled you away from their point. I was once in a public speaking competition where we all had twenty minutes to write a three minute speech based on a surprise prompt, and the older brother of a friend of mine spent the entire event tallying everybody's usages of "um." In three minutes, I think I had thirteen. The worst offenders reached up to twenty-five or thirty. And interestingly, there was a correlation between the amount of times contestants said "um" and where they placed in the competition. I tied for third place, and the winner had his "um"s cut down to two.
Our points are far clearer when we cut out the distractions. Too much hand motion, lip licking, hair touching, etc., and soon people think more about how to imitate our posture than emulate our principles.
We live in an age of opinions and self-proclaimed experts. Everybody wants a say in everything, and if it's said passionately enough, it must be true. If it's a meme or on Buzzfeed, it's factual. All celebrities are now authoritative, scholarly sources—even Rosie O'Donnell, who has no business weighing in on anything, frankly. There are many memes featuring quotes by celebrities that say impressive, inspiring, or idiotic things, depending on where you lie on the spectrum. But how do we know that those quotes were actually said by those celebrities? We don't. At all. But we trust it because it's a meme, it has a picture of them, and it's easier to believe that someone knows what they're talking about than to think that they don't. So we trust, and then we take inspiration and share our own thoughts.
Some souls are actually valiant, truth-seeking individuals who study, research, ponder, decide, and then speak. I applaud such modern day heroes who value truth above sensationalism, principle above popularity. I know many people who fit this description, most notably my brother, Jason, who is expertly informed on just about any political topic known to man. Whether or not you agree with these people, you have to give them credit for their scholarship.
Sadly, though, even these people fall subject to the plague of "like"—not necessarily in word, but in distraction. Some things they say or do pull listeners and readers out of the conversation and signal only their flaws or mockable habits.
The BIGGEST example of which I can think is the ALL CAPS strategy. Does ANYONE appreciate being yelled at like this? I know that the purpose is to put EMPHASIS on the KEY POINTS of the argument, but I feel like the person is just angry. They just seem FURIOUS. And no matter what they're saying, no matter how much sense it makes, I'm deterred by their vindictiveness.
You know the next one. And if you don't, just agree with me. It's telling readers and listeners what they do or do not know/should or should not do. Seriously. I'm right. You understand. Don't ever write or speak like this. People will hate you. You're just gonna turn them off. But you already know this, so just be nice. Now. Write kindly. Make your points the way I tell you to. Or else. Okay, breaking from that, isn't that annoying? I find it incredibly annoying. I break this rule occasionally, for which I apologize, but my brother, Tyler, pointed this out to me recently, and it made me realize how arrogant it sounds when people tell you what to do or think and act like you agree with them and like if you don't, you're an idiot. That last part is hard to avoid when you speak boldly, but I think it's important to be especially careful when discussing issues on which people intensely disagree.
Rambling. Don't ramble. Rambling loses people. I ramble. It's a bad idea. People get lost when I speak because it takes me so long to reach my point. That is all.
And then there's Donald Trump. For all the hype he gets about racist, arrogant, or otherwise insensitive comments, this is my biggest issue with him: his facial expressions while other people speak. He rolls his eyes, nods sarcastically, and constantly expresses his disgust with those around him, often without speaking. I don't know anyone who enjoys speaking with people like this. It's just annoying. You know that no matter what you say, they won't listen. So you stop speaking. Well, I do. I assume you do. But maybe I'm wrong.
There's a million more things, but I think that's clear enough. Human beings are intelligent creatures. I was talking to my friend, Conrad, the other day about The Lord of the Flies and Hobbesianism, which basically suggest that man is inherently base and animalistic, reverting to uncivilized tendencies. But Conrad pointed out, "Man created civilization. They obviously didn't want to live like savages. They wanted to improve." I thought it was a most excellent point. People are good. They're smart. They have valid, valuable things to say. But sometimes all of us say things in such a way that the message gets lost in the minutia. It's hard to eradicate these tendencies entirely from our general mode of expression, but I would invite each of you to reflect and identify at least one thing you say or do that distracts from your brilliant insights. I know mine: I state opinions as fact, I ramble, and I employ a pretentious lexicon (I use big words that no one likes). I'm working on all of these, and I think we would a lot more effective in how we communicate with each other if we learned how to do so kindly, directly, and clearly. Christ never belittled, and He never tore down. He was a light on a hill and an example to the believers of how to communicate love, compassion, patience, understanding, and empathy. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all come even close to His level?
Like, I don't know, but, like, I think that would be kinda, like, nice.
If we start now to communicate with love and clarity, the impact could be enormous—maybe even the difference between life and death:
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