If you have read my blog before, none of this should come as a surprise, even if you don't quite understand every principle I've indicated. I love English; I love grammar. But I understand my place in society, so I often commit grammar regicide (because grammar is royalty and should be treated as such) due to my knowledge that people will hate me if I sound like a snob. Nobody likes snobs, but even among snobs, there are two specific types that are singled out: rich snobs and grammar snobs. I am the latter (and only the latter), so I must tread softly. I end sentences with prepositions, and occasionally I try to pass off a fragment as a full independent clause. But I do these things knowingly and with pain in my heart. In complete honesty, I wince inside when I make any grammar mistake. Well, almost any.
There is one rule—one—about which I really couldn't care less, and I now subject myself to the condemnation and cries of shame from my fellow English majors and other grammar snobs: Good vs. Well. I mean, I care about it on the super obvious ones like "I speak English good." That one bugs me. I will never say "tastes good" to refer to a person's skill for tasting. But on the "smaller"—as I see them—infractions, like, "Hey, how're you doing?" "I'm doing good, man," I don't care. I know the difference: "good" is an adjective, and "well" is an adverb. Sometimes it occurs to me as I say it, but the mistake doesn't in any way instigate the same mental and emotional reaction as do other grammatical errors.
I don't know why this is. Honestly, it puzzles me. Why is there a difference? If I'm so adamant about everything else in the realm of the English language, why do I so readily disregard this fundamental, easy-to-fix principle? The answer is simple: I'm a hypocrite.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "If you define 'hypocrite' as someone who fails to live up perfectly to what he or she believes, then we are all hypocrites." I don't live up fully to the grammar principles I so admire, so therefore I am a hypocrite. I accept this fully, though I don't do anything to change it, which makes me a hypocrite on a whole other level. But—and I don't say this in any way to excuse myself—aren't we all like that as President Uchtdorf suggests?
I come from a very religious background, so I've grown up around hypocrisy at its highest sensitivity—not that religious people are more hypocritical, just that they're more eager to cry "hypocrite!" when they see something they think is wrong (which often is and occasionally is not). We're not perfect people, and religions give way to ready judgment because there're (you see? It looks weird) so many rules to follow, so many ways to mess up. There are so many items to be unaware of or to blatantly disregard because they're "not a big deal" or "not what I'm working on right now." That's a topic for another time, but we can see how easy it is to be hypocrite. The problem is admitting it.
Think about your life for a second. Don't close your eyes or anything, 'cause then you wouldn't be able to read this. But take a moment to reflect and hopefully identify one or more things in your life that you are doing wrong. Done! Took me about three seconds. I'm as imperfect as they come, and I know it. I don't do anything about it, but I know it. Anyways, were you able to come up with anything? It doesn't have to be much. My only desire is that you will notice a discrepancy in your life—something you advocate but are not following totally. For instance, my family has a home video featuring one of my aunts—a vegetarian—admitting that she occasionally eats chicken. My dad responds, "hy-po-cri-ti-cal," which is where I learned that word. I'm not a vegetarian, like, at all, but if someone commits to something, they should follow it. A person who wants to be more like Christ but ducks his or her head when volunteers are sought for a cooking, cleaning, or moving assignment can't very well claim to be doing so well in that goal. Sure, there are other, maybe more important things to take into account, but these hypocrisies create holes in our advocacies and make people less willing to follow us.
This isn't an attempt to call anyone out on anything specific, so I don't want to pile all of this on you or endlessly identify examples of wrongdoing (see Mosiah 4:29). This was supposed to be about me and my public confession of inadequacy, so back on the Me Bus.
I'm an imperfect English major. I'm an imperfect man. There are many things in my life that I've done that were wrong—not just grammatically, but morally. I've hurt other people, and for that, I apologize. This isn't the place to specify whom or how, but I've said unkind things and exceeded boundaries and lost trust. I'm sorry.
But I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to improve—not just morally, but grammatically. My girlfriend, a physics major, has been correcting me on my "good"/"well" usage, and I appreciate it. She's kidding, but she knows my desire to improve, and like the good girl that she is, she does her best to help me. I'm becoming more aware of it, and I'm working on applying it better into my life. I'm not doing a very good job, so I'm not doing very well. My girlfriend, Konrie, is doing both good and well.
I want to be better, both as a man and a major. I'm striving to improve, but in order to do that, I need to be honest with myself and admit when I'm justifying sin or wrongdoing in any way. I try not to beat up on myself for not being perfect, because I never will be in this life, but I try my best to improve. And because it's good for me, I'll keep trying as well as I can.
I come from a very religious background, so I've grown up around hypocrisy at its highest sensitivity—not that religious people are more hypocritical, just that they're more eager to cry "hypocrite!" when they see something they think is wrong (which often is and occasionally is not). We're not perfect people, and religions give way to ready judgment because there're (you see? It looks weird) so many rules to follow, so many ways to mess up. There are so many items to be unaware of or to blatantly disregard because they're "not a big deal" or "not what I'm working on right now." That's a topic for another time, but we can see how easy it is to be hypocrite. The problem is admitting it.
Think about your life for a second. Don't close your eyes or anything, 'cause then you wouldn't be able to read this. But take a moment to reflect and hopefully identify one or more things in your life that you are doing wrong. Done! Took me about three seconds. I'm as imperfect as they come, and I know it. I don't do anything about it, but I know it. Anyways, were you able to come up with anything? It doesn't have to be much. My only desire is that you will notice a discrepancy in your life—something you advocate but are not following totally. For instance, my family has a home video featuring one of my aunts—a vegetarian—admitting that she occasionally eats chicken. My dad responds, "hy-po-cri-ti-cal," which is where I learned that word. I'm not a vegetarian, like, at all, but if someone commits to something, they should follow it. A person who wants to be more like Christ but ducks his or her head when volunteers are sought for a cooking, cleaning, or moving assignment can't very well claim to be doing so well in that goal. Sure, there are other, maybe more important things to take into account, but these hypocrisies create holes in our advocacies and make people less willing to follow us.
This isn't an attempt to call anyone out on anything specific, so I don't want to pile all of this on you or endlessly identify examples of wrongdoing (see Mosiah 4:29). This was supposed to be about me and my public confession of inadequacy, so back on the Me Bus.
I'm an imperfect English major. I'm an imperfect man. There are many things in my life that I've done that were wrong—not just grammatically, but morally. I've hurt other people, and for that, I apologize. This isn't the place to specify whom or how, but I've said unkind things and exceeded boundaries and lost trust. I'm sorry.
But I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to improve—not just morally, but grammatically. My girlfriend, a physics major, has been correcting me on my "good"/"well" usage, and I appreciate it. She's kidding, but she knows my desire to improve, and like the good girl that she is, she does her best to help me. I'm becoming more aware of it, and I'm working on applying it better into my life. I'm not doing a very good job, so I'm not doing very well. My girlfriend, Konrie, is doing both good and well.
I want to be better, both as a man and a major. I'm striving to improve, but in order to do that, I need to be honest with myself and admit when I'm justifying sin or wrongdoing in any way. I try not to beat up on myself for not being perfect, because I never will be in this life, but I try my best to improve. And because it's good for me, I'll keep trying as well as I can.
Here's a hilarious story about being honest with yourself and admitting your faults. Check it out!
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