Not Un

     Time for another commonly used English phrase that, while correctly structured, can become ridiculous when used in excess. This is the "not un-" construction. It's more popular than I think we realize until we start looking for it. At least, that's how it was for me when I first came across this quote in the essay, Politics and the English Language:
     “A not unblack dog was chasing a not unsmall rabbit across a not ungreen field.” -George Orwell
     Just reading that through once or twice should help you see how silly this whole idea is. Go ahead. Read it, memorize it, and recite it to yourself. The exercise is certainly not unhelpful.
     What is it that we're really saying? The "not unblack dog" is just a "black dog;" the "not unsmall rabbit" is of course a "small rabbit," and the "not ungreen field" is green. The prefix of "not un" just confuses readers briefly, causing a mental double take to make sure that two negatives indeed make a positive. But what's the difference between saying it one way or the other? In meaning, absolutely nothing; they're the same description. But in mental interpretation, when instinct kicks in, the way we hear the statement can change drastically. Our brains hone in on the negative rather than the positive. We focus on what something isn't rather than what it is.
     In a way, this makes sense. Think for a second: what is a dog? How do you know it when you see it? How can you be sure that an animal is a dog? If you're like most people, your first thought isn't "a four-legged creature that barks," which is certainly what a dog is. Instead, you will likely picture what a dog isn't: it isn't a cat, an elephant, a bird, or a platypus. It isn't bald, it isn't overly threatening, and it isn't allowed in your apartment. Our brains work by comparison, which is why we always want more or less. We perceive differences between ourselves and others, and that's how we define ourselves—by the spaces between us, not by the space we fill up.
     Unfortunately, we do the same thing among our peers. We're either more or less attractive, wealthy, or intelligent. There is no equality. No one can be "just as pretty" or "just as smart." We are in better or worse shape, we have a better or worse job, and we have a harder or an easier class schedule. We see ourselves and each other as what we aren't rather than who we are.
     It's always so sad to me when a girl says she's not pretty. What she actually means is, "I feel like I'm not as pretty as _____," which is simply not true. It's the way she feels thanks to social constructs, but it's not who she really is. How we perceive beauty is based entirely on preference, so there will never be consensus on the outward appearance of what we call "beauty," but true beauty is an internal state of being. A person is beautiful by doing beautiful things.

     I know that their etymological roots are different, but I've always loved the similarities between the words "beauty" and "beatitudes," the first principles taught in The Sermon on the Mount, given by Christ in Matthew chapters 5-7. This is where Christ teaches us how to receive blessings: by being meek, humble, peacemakers, pure in heart, etc. Of these points, depending how you count them, four are actions (it's what we do that defines us, as both Batman and Jane Austen teach us), and the other five are states of being—who are are. It doesn't say, "Blessed are those who are not prideful," but "blessed are the meek." Christ wanted us to focus on what we are becoming, not what we are trying not to be. We have two wolves inside of us, and we decide which to feed. Well, if we need to feed Wolf A so we constantly think, "Don't feed Wolf B," you are spending more time thinking about B than A, and the one we dwell on most is the one we feed. Thinking "I want to be not chubby" will always make me realize that I'm still chubby and will cause me disappointment. Thinking "I want to not be a student" reminds me that I'm still a student. But switching that to "I want to graduate" puts me on a path of action. I look at the requirements, take the classes, do the work, and earn the diploma, but only because I've decided to act and to be. So, tying this back to the beautiful girl who doesn't realize it, her beauty comes from doing the types of things Christ taught in the beatitudes: doing and becoming rather than not-being.
     Now, in English, there are actually a few perfectly acceptable uses of "not un," and it's not uncommon to see them pop up. For the purposes of this blog, I want to focus on just one: when neither a positive nor a negative adjective seems to work.
     For instance, I hypothetically just got a B on a paper, and I'm not unhappy about it. I'm not devastated, but I'm not particularly thrilled. It's still a good grade, so overall, I'm okay. The middle ground, then, is to say that I'm not unhappy.
     But this reflects another issue not unseen in our times. We live in a very lukewarm society, where people are afraid to take sides or approach anything passionately for fear of rejection, isolation, or accusations of offense. In short, for fear. It's so sad for me to see this amalgamation of ideals and even in our attempts to be politically correct, which is not the same thing as "respectful." We're losing our identity because we're afraid of being. We're afraid of failure. We're afraid of each other, and we're afraid of ourselves. We're afraid to admit to ourselves that we may have some redeeming qualities. We don't want confidence to come across as conceit, so we hide the whole thing under a bushel and hope that no one will notice the light glowing beneath.
     You may have heard this too many times to count, so as much as I love it, I won't bother analyzing it (I promise). Special shout-out to a shaved-headed Channing Tatum in the following clip:

     “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

     The only thing I'll point out is that every time I've seen this quoted in a movie, they cut out the parts about God. Don't forget that. God is the reason you are divine. He is your Father and mine, and He loves all of us. He see who we can become.

     Please don't be afraid of yourself, and don't let anyone tell you what you're not. I'm such a hypocrite in this regard, but I'm working on it. I'm such a perfectionist that it can be so difficult to see what I do well and what makes me unique. There are a lot of things that I am not, but for once, I want to focus on what I am:

     I am a devoted and loving fiancé. I am a caring son. I am a good uncle, brother, and brother-in-law. I am a perfectly decent songwriter, singer, and musician. I am a faithful member of my Church. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I am honest. I am smart. I am a good listener. I am able to draw meaningful conclusions. I am a good teacher. I am a good reader of literature and life. I am a dependable friend. I am tidy, and I am punctual. I am a Harry Potter and Star Wars nerd, and I am passionate about good food. I am a skilled hockey player and a composed public speaker. I am handsome. I am a good person. I am happy.

     Those who know me well may find me narcissistic. Those who know me best tend to see me as realistic. Only one or two people know that when I'm alone, I'm extremely pessimistic. So the fact that I can present that list may surprise you, and it may not. But I know that I am a child of God. I love Him, and I know that He loves me. I am striving every day to be more like Him, and I know that you are, too. It's difficult, but He wouldn't put us here if we weren't up to the challenge. My only desire in life is to make Him happy, so that means I will recognize what I am and what I'm missing. I will strive to be better and to choose to serve Him. I will stand before Him someday, and when that day comes, I plan on being like Him (Moroni 7:48). It will all be worth it on that most not unglorious day.

Here's a favorite children's song—not just for the little kiddles, but for all of God's children: