Feminism (and other misleading clickbait)

     Just to warn you, this post will actually not address feminism, its origins, or its pros/cons. This will merely be a discussion of its name and how it's not all that it seems to be. I hope not to confuse you, so I'll just get right to it:

     I'm not super familiar with the different waves of feminism, other than that they exist. Some are apparently more or less man-hatey than the others, but no matter how many times people explain (or even mansplain) it to me, I can't remember which wave is which. Either way, I know that at its roots, in its purest form, Feminism is the quest for equality between men and women—not that women should be higher than men, not that men need to compensate for the wrongs that their gender has committed against females, and not that all men are evil. Most feminists, or at least true feminists, want true equality: same pay for the same work, same opportunity for education, etc. Some feminists even argue a more tradition equality of "same value, different areas of responsibility," such as women being homemakers and men breadwinners, but that neither is above the other in their stewardship. I said I wouldn't discuss Feminism, which means that I technically lied, but I'm trying to show that I understand that true Feminism is about equality (I'd get murdered in my sleep if I made my next point without establishing that).
     My problem with Feminism, then, isn't what it stands for; it's its name. Why on earth would a cause advocating exact equality between men and women adopt the name of only one of those sexes? That's just maddeningly unhelpful. It's like calling Neopolitan ice cream "Strawberry" because it technically contains strawberry, but in an equal proportion to chocolate and vanilla. Back in my day, we called that "False Advertisement." Now we call it "Feminism."
     I mean, look at this section of an email I got this week from BYU:
     Women’s Resources
This is a great office we have here on campus in 3326 WSC. They are a great resource, specifically for women’s issues such as body image, abuse, nutrition and wellness. So they try to help both men and women in regards to this. They have events, free consultations, support groups, wellness services, and free yoga/zumba classes on Saturdays (9:30-10:30 a.m. men are welcome as well). (emphasis and bold added)
     Am I the only one who sees issues here? Let's break it down: for one, there's actually an office for women's resources on campus. Why would women need that? Rather, what does it offer that women need but men don't? Can't we just have human resources, campus police, aromatherapy, or whatever will help both genders? Look at what comes next: "women's issues such as body image, abuse, nutrition, and wellness" (yes, I added the Oxford comma). Wait, what? Those are exclusively women's issues? I feel like I just found out that I'm a woman. I worry about my body image—I've felt and/or been overweight since I was eight and on to the present. Abuse can take many forms, even self-abuse, which is no respecter of gender. Men, too, can have a hard time with nutrition, especially in college, where everything is 100 mph and there's never a moment to slow down and focus on being healthy. And wellness? Wellness is a women's issue? Wellness, whether physical, mental, social, spiritual, financial, or emotional, is certainly a gender-transcendent issue. I've dealt with depression, and men are more than twice as likely to commit suicide. Why is this just a women's issue?
     But wait! They do take care of that. See there, "They try to help both men and women in regards to this." So why label them as women's issues? Are they implying that "helping" men in such a way will help them understand the harm they're doing to women in each category, or are they actually admitting that men have the same issues? I think it's the latter, hopefully, so why label them as "women's issues"? Then, at the end, they invite men to yoga and zumba classes. For one, if they already specified about men before, why must they do it again? It's like they're anticipating men feeling left out...of women's resources....Imagine that. But maybe it's because they understand that most men don't/won't do yoga or zumba, which are at least contemporarily seen as feminine activities. So how will these things help men in any way other than to embarrass them? If seeking to help men, why not offer things that men like? If you're seeking to achieve gender equality, why name your organization "women's resources," why label the help given to both as strictly "women's issues," and why offer events for both men and women that (typically, most often) only women want to attend? If they were called "women's resources" and expressed only desire to help women, that would be a different issue altogether. But given that their mission statement is to help men as well as women, their presentation is entirely misleading and inaccurate.
     I'm not trying to shame women, feminists, or even those who believe that men should suffer for the faults of society's past. I don't even want to get into that. My issue is that the very titles given of Feminism and Women's Resources imply something very different than that which such groups claim to uphold.
     This is an issue of hypocrisy, and that certainly goes beyond gender debate; it's a human issue. People claim to mean "no offense" before attempting to absolutely ruin someone's day. People claim to want economic equality while eternally adopting a "as long as you tax someone else" mentality. People claim to want the truth, but everyone chooses to get offended by the least opposition to them. It's sad, really, because I don't think that people actually realize the discrepancy. They truly don't realize that they're lying to themselves. It used to get me mad, but now it just makes me feel sorry for them.

     I truly believe that honesty is the best policy. I also think that contrary to common belief, we can handle the truth. But in order to be honest with others, we first have to be honest with ourselves. If you mean to give offense, don't say you don't. That's better, in my opinion, than lying. If you hate men, well then hate 'em, gosh dang it! But don't pretend to hold them in equal esteem. I don't mean to be cynical, and I don't think that people are malicious in their hypocrisy—it's just that we're all hypocrites in one way or another. o my hope is that we can all (myself included) ponder and identify our own hypocrisy and that we do something about it. I have no problem disagreeing with people, but if we're going to get into a debate, I would at least prefer an honest opening statement, one with a solid, driving thesis—not a sensational, misleading clickbait.

This isn't exactly on point, but it's about realizing when the problem is with yourself,

not with others. I could definitely stand to internalize this message more fully.