Head Over Heels

     It's a great feeling to be able to say that I'm head over heels in love. This expression implies that
the sensation of love has turned your world upside down and has forever changed your perspective on the meaning of your very existence. Lovely. No, seriously, that's a wonderful thing, but I cringe at this explanation not because of the interpretation but because of the phrase itself and what it actually means. Think about it: if you're neither standing nor sitting, do so, or at least picture yourself doing so. Where is your head? Where are your heels? Which is higher? I apologize if I'm making generalizations and you just don't have the same body type as I do, but I'm going to assume that your head is already above your heels. As in the image here, people often depict "head over heels" as doing a handstand or flipping upside down, but just look at this child: where is his head? Where are his heels? Which is higher? Unless I'm very much mistaken, I believe that his heels are over his head. This makes no sense.

     I don't understand why this expression is so taking for some people, but I do understand the concept of the world turning upside down when you're in love; everything is different, your desires and goals and motivations come from an entirely alternate source, and although all of your free time is devoted to one person and you never get any sleep because you want to spend as much time together as possible (this is my experience at least), you're happier than ever and somehow find that you can function like a normal human being and still manage to smell nice and look cute and give proper attention to your significant other. It, too, makes no sense, but it works, and it's awesome.

     Happy, blissful love is a wonderful thing, but while love is eternal, at a certain point, lovers have to remember that there is a world going on around you. There's nothing like the imminent knowledge that in less than two months you will be independently responsible for all of your expenses to jolt you into reality. But that's a part of growing up, and I'm fine with that. Love is supposed to mature as you advance through life. Dietrich Bonhoeffer once said: "In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls into his kingdom. In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal—it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man."

     Youthful twitterpation is awesome, but God didn't intend true love to stay that way—he wants us to grow and contribute to the world. He wants us to build and progress and prepare for the future by taking advantage of the present. He wants us to be realistic yet optimistic, hopeful while keeping our wits about us. And that, I think, is being head over heels in love—maintaining order, maturity, and responsibility. In the beginning of a relationship, I think it's totally fine to be heels over head in love. Please do. Indulge in the alternate reality of it all. But then make sure that you come back to actual reality at some point so love and marriage can realize their full potential. Love is wonderful, but it's not about living with your head in the clouds; it's about facing the world together with your heads square on your shoulders. I love that my fiancée is realistic and logical yet very romantic. We're able to be in love while being adults, and I think that that's going to be very important as be progress through the next stage of our lives. Sometimes my love for her makes me forget everything else, but most often I find it far more romantic that our love makes us able to face the world together—confidently, responsibly, and absolutely head over heels in love.

It's always a struggle to find the balance between wanting to spoil my fiancée and wanting to be practical. Here's a great example of a couple who knows what's most important: