Living What You Taught

Dear Little Sister,
Hey girl! So how's R.M. life treating you? I'm always glad to hear that you're staying busy, 'cause that means you're staying sane. I used to think that people who came home from their missions and started school a few days later were nuts, but after I went through the transition at the same time as you—coming home mid-May and having the whole summer ahead of you—I was actually jealous of them. I eventually got a good job a month after I returned, which I've had for the last year, and that in addition to moving to Utah kept me busy. It's so important to stay busy once you get back; you can't just serve so diligently for so long and then stop—it's like hitting a wall. And additionally, now that you've served a mission, your body and mind can tell when your "busy" activities have little or no value. It was hard to make that change, knowing that while I was supposed to be busy, it wasn't okay for me to waste all of my time.
     Mission habits can be tough to break, which can either be a good or bad thing, but it requires adaptation to your new roles. The exact behaviors you learned may not be applicable anymore, but the principles behind them are. For example, you don't have a companion by your side at every moment of the day, but you've learned the importance of surrounding yourself with good people. learning from their strengths, and being there for them when they need you.
     One of the hardest things to do, though, may be to make the transition that you're no longer invincible. Neither of us were perfect missionaries, but didn't you ever feel fearless? Unstoppable? I remember my brother telling me how he had regained that fear when he got home, and I thought it was such a strange concept. Just being a missionary, called of God and empowered with His Spirit, gave me so much confidence that as long as I was following Him, nothing could go wrong—even if it didn't go according to my plan. As long as I was following His plan, His rules, His guidance, there was nothing I couldn't do. It's not that that principle goes away, but you're not called to the same command. You're not being asked to face the front lines. You had to learn how to lead on your mission, and I think we all do, but now is the time to follow.
     I started thinking about this today when a good friend of mine, Leah, posted a profound thought on Facebook: "Imagine the people of Moses fleeing the Egyptian army. Enemies are behind them. On either side are walls of water which at any moment can come crashing down. Ahead of them lies the unknown, which could end up being worse than their present situation. If they take too much time deciding whether to head into the unknown, either the army or the water could kill them before they make up their minds. The best choice for them was to hurry into the unknown, trusting in the prophet. When you are in a metaphorical situation like this, where time is short and you don't know what's ahead, have faith and press forward. Things will eventually work out."
     As a returned missionary, you know exactly what it's like to be Moses. You know the feeling of inviting others to come unto Christ and to hurry already. You know how to trust in the Lord's direction and to take others with you, even if you don't have all the answers—you just need all the faith. But now you're back in the crowds of Israel, just another follower. You have a bunch of people around you that you can influence, for sure, but your role in leading them isn't the same. You lead by the example of how well you follow. And it can be hard to follow by faith when you're so used to being invincible.

     I've seen how that can be one of the most challenging mission habits to adjust. You taught people how to listen to the Spirit, you taught them the commandments, and you challenged them to obey them. Sometimes, they didn't understand why, but you knew that they would never gain a testimony of the principle until they'd applied it, so they just had to have faith. And now it's your turn.
     If you haven't already, you'll soon learn that post-mission life is nothing like it was before. You lived in a bubble where your responsibilities were relatively few. Now you're getting ready to go off and make your own way, applying the principles you learned both at home and in the field. Because you were a great missionary, I'm sure you're excited and confident, but I want to remind you not to overlook how you can improve.
     A while back, Konrie and I had to talk about something (I share this with her permission). It's not important what, but there was something she wanted to do that I knew wasn't okay, and it would drastically affect our family. It's vital to talk about these things, just as Konrie needs to talk to me when I'm making a decision that could have an impact on our family. We're a team. But on this one, we didn't see eye to eye. It was something I had a testimony of, and we had many sincere talks about it. We wanted to base our decision on the standards the Lord has set, so we read talks, lessons, and quotes from the Gospel Library. Nothing convinced her. She kept saying, "Just because it says that in general doesn't mean it's right for me." She kept praying that the Lord would tell her what to do, but she never felt an answer. I felt that He didn't need to tell her anymore than He already had, which was quite a bit after we'd read so much. But she wanted God to tell her explicitly before she would do it. Finally, I reminded her that she had taught so many people that they couldn't know the Book of Mormon was true until they'd read it, at least in part. He won't give us answers if we haven't put in our part.

     That reminder struck her. She couldn't believe she'd taken the place of the people she'd led on the mission, asking for a sign without putting forth the effort. It didn't take long for her to find confirmation after that—not an answer, because the Lord had already given her that through many prophets, but confirmation that the Lord was pleased with her decision.
     I'm pretty open about my weaknesses, so I'm okay with sharing my strengths. I know who I am and what I need to work on. Yes, I need a little bit of everything, but while I'm mostly lacking in patience, humility, empathy, and a few other essential Christlike attributes, I know I'm mostly okay in a couple of others, including obedience. I know it, I live it, I love it. I love obedience. Konrie has developed many of the attributes I haven't, and vice versa. We work together and help each other. I mentioned today to her, planning out this letter, how I didn't know if I'd had a similar experience to hers, asking for a sign after teaching so many people that that didn't work. She replied, "The sad thing is, I didn't think I did either. I couldn't believe it when I realized."
     Now that you're back, you'll need to transition from Moses to layman, following counsel rather than giving it. I don't know how much work that will take in your case, but be careful to keep the ground you've already won. You've seen that God is good, and you know that He will always help you. One of the principles of which my testimony is strongest is that God is much smarter than me. Don't forget that now that your biggest test is to become the person you challenged others to be. It's time to practice what you preached. You can do it!



"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."

- Moroni, Ether 12:6





Konrie's Korner:

I am grateful that Richie thought to talk about this and to share my experience. As he said, I really wasn't expecting to be someone that struggled with "practice what you preach." I had grown up in the Church; we have wonderful parents that taught us to live the gospel and to be obedient. I always regarded myself as a very obedient person, but this experience kinda shook me. It is hard to see yourself differently, to realize you (just like friends and family) may not be the same person you thought you were and you need to improve both your strengths and weaknesses.

I remember one day on the mission, my companion, (whom I loved and thought highly of) sat me down on a bench and asked if we could sing a hymn and say a prayer before she told me something. She picked the song More Holiness Give Me. I could tell she was trying really hard to have the Spirit when she spoke. She told me that I was prideful and needed to be more humble. I was so hurt! I actually liked this companion and thought she liked me!! How dare she! I remember writing our mission president about it, and his response was so perfect. He told me maybe she was right, maybe I did need to be more humble...there have been many times since then that I've realized that I need to grow and improve and be willing to do so.

It is okay to not be perfect; it is okay if you realize there is room to improve—no one on this earth is perfect. You are not alone in your quest to be better. I love you, little sister. You will do amazing things—I just know it.